Poor ol' Satan is terrified

I love my job. In between tasks I often get a few minutes with which I can do whatever I please. Recently, with my papers being so close to being finished, I have taken almost every single free second at work to study 'Preach My Gospel'.

As I was reading today, I found I was having a hard time concentrating. My mind kept wandering. I was doing that thing where you read a paragraph, and then realize that you weren't actually paying attention, so you read it again, but you weren't paying attention that time either. You end up reading the same paragraph at least 20 times before you begin to understand what you've read. Then you move on to the next paragraph and do the same exact thing. This kept happening until I found myself thinking about how ridiculous it sounds for me to say that there is a God. I thought about how absolutely crazy I must be to believe in miracles, how naive I am to believe Joseph Smith is a prophet, or that man can be made perfect through the mercy of a dude named Jesus Christ. 

I caught these thoughts innocently playing through my head. Honestly, I was heartbroken and appalled. I knew it wasn't me thinking these things. I knew fully that Satan brought these doubts to mind. But still, I have never doubted these things before, why was I suddenly thinking this way now?
Ill tell you why. Poor Satan is terrified. He and I both know that my knowedge of truth is growing, and my faith is getting stronger.

Even with this realization, the doubt did not go away. I got frustrated. I figured out what was happening, why weren't the feelings gone? Perhaps, much like faith is compared to a seed, doubt can be compared to a weed. Unless pulled out of the ground, the weed will grow and grow and take over any seed or flower that once existed. I needed to be rid of this weed, if I wanted to continue my growth.

Then I remembered Nephi's brothers, Laman and Lemuel. I remembered how they murmured and doubted, and righteous Nephi said to them "How is it that ye have forgotten...?" (1 Nephi 7:10-12). Nephi pleads to them and us, REMEMBER.

• Remember the first time I REALLY prayed? At girls camp in a hidden part of forest, I felt peace and God's love for the first time in my life; I could NEVER deny that.

• Remember that night I didn't think I'd make it through alive? The pain that I prayed and begged God to take away, suddenly gone? Such mercy, such understanding; I could NEVER deny that.

• Remember the night that I made a huge mistake? A mistake that could not be taken back. I was alone and scared, until he miraculously sent his comforter to me; I could NEVER deny that.

• Remember when I stood in the Sacred Grove? The sacredness and peace I felt there, how real and close the Holy Ghost was, the personal revelations given to me there; I could NEVER deny that.

• Remember the incredible, heartbreaking guilt I have felt time and time again? Remember the love and forgiveness I received, even when I was the least deserving?

I COULD NEVER DENY THAT.

Tell me, Satan, how can I have a garden full of gratitude, faith, peace, joy, and love, and still have room for the doubt you're trying to plant? There is no room for your lies in my heart.

Get the hence, Satan. You are wasting your time with me. I am a daughter of God, the child of a king. I have a divine purpose and I plan on fulfilling it. You can't stop me now. You cant bring me down. You have no power over me. 

Heart Notes: Reasons to Smile

Dear Sara,

The days are swiftly getting colder. Winter is coming, and along with winter comes long dark days. Based on patterns set by past years, depression usually comes with this time of year. So I wanted to write this note to remind you that as the days get darker, longer, and harder, there are always reasons to smile.
REASONS:
You are ALIVE. Congratulations! You've made it this far! Although many scars remind you daily of how living can suck sometimes, they should also remind you that your body and your mind can survive so much pain. Whatever it is that may have you feeling down, remember that, with god, you have the strength to pull through.You have a family who loves you. You have pretty much the coolest brother EVER. He has always been, and always will be, your protector. Hes got your back no matter what. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with, or just a punching bag, hes got you. You've got a father who cares so so so much about you, even though he sometimes isn't the most loud about it. ;) You've got the BEST sister. Seriously, the most righteous, loving, kind, pure woman on this planet is your older sister, you lucky duck. And so very soon (38 DAYS) she will be home from her mission and ready to change your life forever. Your mother is your best friend. You should never feel afraid to tell her anything, because its been proven time and time again that she loves you with her whole heart no matter what. The weather, although dark and cold now, will soon again be warm and bright. You have friends that take you on crazy adventures and know how to make you laugh. You have a heart capable of love and kindness. And last but not least you have a knowledge and a love of the gospel.

Find at least one reason to smile everyday. It'll help you make it through this looooooong winter.
Much love,
Your heart.