Heart Notes: Reasons to Smile

Dear Sara,

The days are swiftly getting colder. Winter is coming, and along with winter comes long dark days. Based on patterns set by past years, depression usually comes with this time of year. So I wanted to write this note to remind you that as the days get darker, longer, and harder, there are always reasons to smile.
REASONS:
You are ALIVE. Congratulations! You've made it this far! Although many scars remind you daily of how living can suck sometimes, they should also remind you that your body and your mind can survive so much pain. Whatever it is that may have you feeling down, remember that, with god, you have the strength to pull through.You have a family who loves you. You have pretty much the coolest brother EVER. He has always been, and always will be, your protector. Hes got your back no matter what. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with, or just a punching bag, hes got you. You've got a father who cares so so so much about you, even though he sometimes isn't the most loud about it. ;) You've got the BEST sister. Seriously, the most righteous, loving, kind, pure woman on this planet is your older sister, you lucky duck. And so very soon (38 DAYS) she will be home from her mission and ready to change your life forever. Your mother is your best friend. You should never feel afraid to tell her anything, because its been proven time and time again that she loves you with her whole heart no matter what. The weather, although dark and cold now, will soon again be warm and bright. You have friends that take you on crazy adventures and know how to make you laugh. You have a heart capable of love and kindness. And last but not least you have a knowledge and a love of the gospel.

Find at least one reason to smile everyday. It'll help you make it through this looooooong winter.
Much love,
Your heart.

Suicide Awareness Day

So here's the thing.

LIFE SUCKS.

It is NOT easy. Waking up in the morning is usually the hardest thing to do, because you wake up knowing that today is just going to be another day of trails. Another day of being alone. Another day of him not caring. Another day of cruel words and harsh eyes. Another day of impossible expectations and abusive perspectives. Another day of being the only one to feel this way. Another day of pain.

I have these thoughts almost every morning and every night. Honestly, I'm not gonna sit here and say that all those thoughts are false. Most days are full of trials. Most of the time he doesn't care. Too often people will be cruel, harsh, and abusive. However, I want to make VERY clear that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY.
I'm pretty sure that everyone feels this way at some point or another in their life. Its pretty much human nature. The point is, there are so many people surrounding you, ready and willing to help you; because so many of us have been in your place and felt the same way.

I'm speaking from experience here. I BEG anyone who is having suicidal thoughts to please, PLEASE be strong and wait. Dying will always be easier than whatever it is you're going through, but I promise you that LIVING IS WORTH IT. It's worth the heart ache and all the pain. Life is full of ups and downs. Its pretty bad right now, but it gets better! aaaand then it will get hard again. But guess what? It always gets better again! Every single time! I guarantee it!

This last week was particularly hard for me. My motto: YOU CAN DO THIS. I'm celebrating 175 days self harm free. My scars are healing, yours will too. But first you need to get rid of whatever you're using and promise yourself NEVER to pick it up again. You can do this. You can do this.

Please, don't be afraid to reach out for help. No one will judge you. People love you and want to help you. I love you! Be strong.

Heart Notes: Be the friend you wish you had

Dear Sara,
Something you must understand about the human mind is that it is naturally selfish. According to some psychologists, we begin on this world with a sense of Egocentrism, which is basically when children are unable to see any point of view except their own. As children, the thought never crosses our mind that someone might see a different perspective from us. Part of growing up and maturing is realizing that other people don't always feel the same way you do. But I think as we grow up and see other peoples perspectives, we sometimes forget that we are all people, we are all human, and sometimes people do feel almost exactly the same way you do.
Someone else out there feels used, overlooked, and left behind. Some other poor girl constantly feels like a misfit. That girl has convinced herself that she isn't pretty enough, funny enough, or smart enough to hang out with certain people. She has serious problems trusting people, and for good reason. She sits up at night wishing that she could meet someone who actually cared, and reminded her regularly that they care. She spends her days smiling and her nights crying. People have proved to her time and time again that they are not to be trusted, and that she is not to be loved. Sara, loose yourself, strive to find this girl, and prove to her that she is worth every pain and heart ache and tear. Show her you understand what she has been through. Remind her time and time again that you care, and that she's perfect the way she is. If she needs someone in middle of the night, be there.
Be the friend to her that you have always wished and prayed that you would one day have.
Love,
Your Heart